Happy Anniversary!

At the risk of being dramatic, today is my 15-year anniversary. It's not uncommon for folks with chronic illnesses like CFS/EBV to remember the exact day they got sick, and February 8, 1996 was my day.

While there are hints of sadness while I reflect on the last 15 years, I'm so much more overcome by gratitude. Yes, it's been a very difficult trial and I'd never deny that, but I'm so grateful for family, friends, and doctors who have helped me so much in this time. I was bedridden for 7+ years, didn't go to high school, and was unsure if I'd ever be able to function again. I may have gotten a late start, but I graduated from BYU and am working full time--exactly what I dreamed and prayed I'd be able to do. I feel so incredibly lucky to be in this place now.

I'd like to say I'm incredibly blessed to be in this place now but, honestly, that would be true in whatever place I would be. I'm in His hands and am trying to live according to His will. It's not my time, it's not my health, it's not my money. I'm just grateful He's letting me be.

I want to share two talks that have really affected me recently. One is a chapter in a book by Carlfred Broderick, a former stake president and psychologist. I've been familiar with a portion of this chapter since I got sick, but I didn't realize it was part of something else. Anyway, I found this chapter recently and was so touched by it. It's powerful. It's called "The Uses of Adversity."

Another one is "But If Not", Dennis E. Simmons' Conference address from April 2004. It's a good reminder to me that, even if I still couldn't get out of bed, even if I still couldn't function . . . would I still have faith? If any of you read these talks and like them, shoot me an email so we can talk about them. Especially the Carlfred Broderick one--it's wonderful. I don't think you often get articles in the Church that are this REAL.

I know I try to go more for funny/witty posts (try being the operative word), so if you wanted funny/witty today whilst browsing my blog, I apologize for the dramatic shift in tone. But I really am grateful--as I'm sitting here at work and getting a bit misty-eyed--and sometimes you just have to share that.